The Wastebroker Blog

Kwame Text - A Lesson in Communication

We continue to learn that communication, like a diamond, is forever and Kwame Kilpatrick, the mayor of Detroit, is only the latest (that we know about) high-profile philanderer to “discover” that, regardless of technological advances (and the occasional lie - 'I did not have textual relations with that woman'), it’s still nearly impossible to cover your tracks.  As our world has evolved, our modes of communication have evolved as well.  Where once we could only communicate solely by word of mouth, we have since applied to communication the power of scalability, enabling us with multiple means (phone, fax, e mail, IM, text, internet and, for the moment at least, newspapers to name just a few)  as well as exponentially expanding our prospective audience.  Where once we chiseled pictures and words on rocks and tablets, by which someone would have to walk (and interpret correctly) to “read,” we can now broadcast a message to an audience of one or one million with less effort than it took to pick up the chisel.  We still, however, share an important bond with our ancient rock cartoonist mates.  We call that bond permanency. 

You see we haven’t yet found a way to easily get rid of our records.  In fact, and as Mr. Kilpatrick is now keenly aware, it’s become much harder.  Where once we could crush the rock or burn the letter (not to mention simply killing the messenger), today we are literally powerless to control how our communications are contained, maintained or sustained (thought that might add a political speech-like flavor).   And, like leaving your fingerprints, sweat, saliva or any other bodily fluid at the scene of the crime, there is always a record of where we’ve been and what we said.  We may have gotten rid of the paper, but we most definitely have yet to get rid of the trail.  Like water that evaporates from a boiling pan, it may appear to be gone but it’s really only been transformed, stored in a cloud that, coincidently, looks a lot like those drawings IT folks make to represent the internet, and will, eventually, come back to us as rain, sometimes acid rain.

I remember being advised some time ago that I should visualize everything I say or do as being displayed on a billboard by which my mom drives every day on her way to church and ask myself, would she be proud?  That example, while still strong in meaning is, of course, no longer germane in reality since technology can now bring the billboard right into mom’s house through a wire or through waves in the sky.  Mom doesn’t even need to leave the house. 

And neither, of course, do Mr. Kilpatrick’s wife, family, friends, associates and constituents (as well as the entire population of the web-enabled world) who, thanks to his presumably mistaken assumption (or arrogance) about the traceability of the text world, now know more about him, his chief of staff and their "agenda" than they certainly needed or wanted to know.

My advice, no matter how horny, vindictive or illegally inclined you may be, if you're using a computer, or anything that acts like a computer (which means almost everything now), resist the urge for the speed of Type/Send and instead favor this Type, Read, Affirm (that you wouldn't mind your mom (or spouse) reading this - unless she's your partner in crime, in which case this is a bad example), then, finally, Publish (Send).  Oh, and by the way, did you get my text?

iPhone to The Rescue

Just before Christmas, I was at the AT&T (formerly Cingular) cellular phone store with my wife and kids because we were interested in getting Jamy an iPhone to replace the flip phone she’s probably had since back when I still had hair.  She’d been hinting for some time (OK more aggressively than hinting) that she’d really like to upgrade her present wireless wonder and, being the perceptive genius I am, I figured that an iPhone might be just the ticket.   Like a trooper, she had “lived with” this flip phone, even though it would not accept a charge from her minivan’s cigarette lighter nor was it, apparently, very handy for providing the reception quality she desired (and needed) to actually have a conversation.   To top it off, when she was successful in making a call, the receiver’s caller ID would identify her as a certain “Chuck Wunsch”, the name of the guy who had originally had the phone which, as you can imagine, made me a real star in her eyes.

This was my chance to shine I thought.  All Jamy wanted was a new, Wunsch-less phone that she could actually use and maybe take a picture with.  It was me who, seeking redemption for years of subjecting her to cell phone inadequacy (on top of my many other inadequacies …….. and no, thank you, not that one - yet) figured an I-Phone, with its e mail, photo, internet, text, color, I-Pod and other capabilities, was a get out of jail card for me and, for her, a welcome to the real  world of wireless that had here-to-for been just beyond her grasp. 

And, I’m happy to report, it worked. Although you should know (and maybe you already do) that you can’t get an iPhone at a AT&T formerly Cingular store (you have to go to a non formerly Cingular AT&T store (or an Apple store), that there is no discount for the phone although you can pretty much get any other phone you desire for free if you sign up for a plan for which they must wildly overcharge you and, finally, that there are literally no directions included with the iPhone.  Fortunately, though, the check-out lines at Barnes & Noble prominently display several iPhone tell all books that, as I’ve learned, offer all kinds of valuable instruction for the paltry sum of $19.95 (less 30% with your “Members” discount).

I have to admit that the iPhone’s been a hit and probably earned me a couple of much needed points for which I somehow feel obligated to thank Steve Jobs.  In addition to freeing Jamy from Mr. Wunsch, her wireless alter ego, it’s also enabled her to make calls that connect (and stay connected), check her e mail, take pictures of our dog and, whenever it strikes her fancy (or my daughters for that matter), give me the temperature in Honolulu.  Do you think that’s a hint as well?