It’s bad enough that I can’t answer all the questions from the TV show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader. Even though I’ve apparently got a lot of company when it comes to my inability (most contestants and a fair majority of the viewers if I had to guess) it still grates at me. And the fact that Jeff Foxworthy, the man who created the whole “You might be a redneck if. . .” movement, is the host with all the answers is, well, like a stick in the eye to boot.
And now this. As it turns out, last June I foolishly (in retrospect) engaged my just matriculated 10-year old fifth grade daughter, Morgan, in a summer reading contest, I did this, of course, with the highest of noble intentions wanting to stimulate her desire to read, learn and imagine her way through the summer. I also made it interesting, offering her a $5 bounty for each book she might read in excess of my total for the summer. She accepted, and the race was on.
At the outset, I assumed she would win because she enjoys reading and would have more time to read during the summer than I would. I figured maybe five books more than me would be her total. But not unlike many government projects, I soon found that my costs would exceed my budget – and, like Uncle Sam, I couldn’t tell by exactly how much.
I knew I was in trouble early when I noticed Morgan reading a book whenever I saw her. She read in bed, on the couch, in the yard, while she ate, in the car, in a tent in the yard, in the bathroom, on a walk in the park. You name the place, she had a book. The books seemed attracted to her, like a magnet to a refrigerator. Almost every other day, I’d be met with her smiling proclamation, “I finished another book,” then the jab, “How many have you finished?”
On Labor Day, we settled up. Her total, 26 books all above our 200-page minimum and including Harry Potter at 700 pages plus. My total: 8. Difference: 18 books! Cost: $90! She was thrilled and I . . . was too, despite my whooping. We high-fived, and I congratulated her like the winner she was; “I’m not worthy,” and that was so true.
Morgan came to me a short time later with a proposition. We’d agreed that she would collect her winnings in a Barnes & Noble gift card. Ninety dollars, she told me, is a lot of money to spend on books at Barnes & Noble; would I consider the following attractive:
Ø $30 Barnes & Noble gift card;
Ø $30 cash so that she could buy something for herself and her younger sister, Rachel; and
Ø $30 for charity.
Wow! I was impressed. I’m still not sure if I’m any smarter than a fifth grader, but I do know that I can learn a lot from a fifth grader. Congratulations, Morgan!
Comments